Featured Movie:

Troy

Stars

Brad Pitt        Achilles

Eric Bana       Hector

Orlando Bloom Paris

Rating: 5-5

Wuz up: Troy is the interesting adaptation on Homer's The Iliad , and it brings new twists. Achilles is a warrior who is basically in his stage where he wants his name to be remembered, and he shoves many out of his life. Paris, while with his brother Hector staying with King Menelaus, abducts Menelaus' Wife, Helen, and they run away together. Hector leads his men against Achilles, but Achilles is drawn from battle when Agamemnon takes Achilles' war prize, Chrysies. All seems lost for the Greeks as their heroes dwindle away till Achilles' Cousin, Patroclus, runs into battle, but is killed by Hector, bring Achilles out of submission. Achilles kills Hector, but Priam comes for the body. The ending is something you have to see.

 

Odyssey

Stars

Armand Assante   Odysseus

Rating 5-5  

Wuz up: Odysseus is drawn from home by the Trojan War, taken from his son and wife, and after the war, his friends and him are blown off course. They go through many perils, trying to get home, but Odysseus' enemy, Poseidon, wishes otherwise.

 

Clash of the Titans

Stars

Harry Hamlin    Perseus

Rating 5-5

Wuz up: After Acrisius sends exiles his daughter, Danae and her son Perseus, to a coffin set to sea, all of Argos is attacked by the Kraken. Many years later, Perseus is mysteriously dropped into the place of Joppa. Perseus is befriended by the playwright Ammon, but Perseus is sent into a ring of adventures when he attempts to win the marriage of the beautiful Princess Adromada.

 

Hercules

Stars

A bunch of animated characters

Rating: 2-5

Wuz up: The most horrible cartoon adaptation of mythology ever, I can use as a description of this. It completely ruins mythology, just to win a juvenile audience. It is where baby god Hercules is kidnapped from his crib on Mount Olympus by Hades' two demons, Pain and Panic, and they attempt to make him mortal to kill him, but they only took away his mortallity, not his 'herculian' strength. So he grew up with some caring farmers, as a lovable klutz, but he seeks to find his real father when his parents tell him that he was from Zeus. Hercules meets his father, but is told that the only way to come up to Olympus, is by becoming a true hero. So Hercules joins the satyr Philotectes 'Phil', the retired ex-trainer-of-heroes, and his winged horse Pegasus, and tehy train to become a hero, but Hades learns soon that his nephew is still alive, and will stop at nothing to kill him.

 

The Mask

Stars :

Jim Carrey      Stanley Ipkiss/The Mask

Cameron Diaz   Tina Carlyle

Peter Greene    Dorian Tyrell

Rating: 5-5

Wuz up: Though this movie is with little mythology, it is absolutely great. Stanley Ipkiss, a frustrated, shy, and absolutely nice guy, has been living his life as a push-over, and when he meets Tina Carlyle, he is left embarresing himself amongst her later the same day he met by being in a wet suit, with a broken down car. But everything changes when Stanley notices what seems to be a body floating in the water. He runs to save whoever it is when he realizes it was just junk, but he finds a wooden mask. When he first tries on the mask, he is turnt into a crazy, romantic, cartoony, Super-Hero wearing a green mask, dubbed The Mask. He performs cartoon-like actions and his first actions are irritating his landlord which has yelled at him constantly, and also dealing out justice to two mechanics who have been cheating him out while fixing his car. He even one night goes to Tina Carlyle, who is performing at a club, and performs a great dance number. But Dorian gets enraged with The Mask, because he robbed a bank before Dorian's men. When Tina asks Stanley to set up a date with The Mask, knowing that he 'used' to 'know' The Mask, he consults Dr. Arthur Neuman, an expert on masks and metaphorical masks, who tells him that the Mask was a representation of the Norse God Loki, God of Mischief. Everything begins going wrong when Stanley is incarcerated for being The Mask, and the real mask is in the hands of Dorian, who has devilish plans.

 

Son of the Mask

Stars    

Jamie Kennedy   Tim Avery

Rating     1-5

Wuz up: Tim Avery, a struggling frustrated cartoonist, is left with his baby son. But what he doesn't realize is that the essence of the Mask of Loki, Norse God of Mischief, is imbued in the child and he goes crazy. Otis, Tim's dog, feeling left out, comes upon the actual mask and makes a devious plan to get rid of the baby. But to make matters worse, the actual Norse God Loki is sent by Odin to retrieve the Mask. This movie is...allow me to quote...."HORRIBLE!". The original Mask was much better, and then they throw this PG-rated pathetic excuse for a sequel to one of teh greatest movies of all times! The have a freaking baby! And when they show Tim becoming the Mask, he doesn't even look like the original Mask. I would give this a .1 if not for the fact that it is a scale from 1-5.